Monthly Archives: July 2011

Part of God

I am that part of god that is creative, artistic and musical!

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My old and new package

I allow you to stand in front of me and around me to block me from the Light of Life. It is not your fault. Nor is it really mine.  Still it is my life. I learnt early on that … Continue reading

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My playmate

I don’t believe in love – neither at first nor at second sight. I do clinging, attachment, dependency and then the opposite. I used to call it love. I learnt that being in love with another is a strong feeling … Continue reading

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Your words and my colours

Letters and words like clouds hang above our heads. You verbalize. You have a story to tell. You analyze. You think. You contemplate.I wonder. I don’t know what to do with the words you throw at me. Your letters roll … Continue reading

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We live in different worlds

You meant no harm, actually you wanted to protect me when you started to drag me into your world. You told me about a scary world of goods and bads and wanted me to be safe by knowing what you … Continue reading

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Good or bad?

I wonder what it is like for you Being so good an all. You hold your head high Smile like you were taught Do the right things, ask the right questions Make sure life is the way it is expected … Continue reading

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What’s with attachment?

I thought attachment went only one way Me attached to you. I need you (for whatever reasons), so I attach myself to you; I love you and in return you love me. Clean cut. Actually, there is a cleaver way … Continue reading

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When I dance

When I dance The world opens up and swings with me I float in air Like floating in water My body becomes weightless I stand like a princess on her wedding day Tall, slim and spectacular. When I dance I … Continue reading

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The meaning of control

You let me down. Again and again. Fear set in. And so I thought , I must make sure you can’t let me down again. I took the sceptre and made myself king of the tribe. I raised my voice. … Continue reading

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It is not my job

It is not my job to tell you How to live your life I don’t even know how to live mine. It is not my job to tell you You are making a mistake You will figure it out for … Continue reading

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Frightened girls

What is the child posture for you, It is the red face of the bitter anger for me. What hinders us is our greatest treasure The wall we created between us and the world To be protected in times of … Continue reading

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Sacrifice

Sacrifice is a meaningless effort appearing worthwhile. (IK)

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G r o w

You don’t allow yourself to grow! You withhold the food that would nurture and nourish you into maturity You don’t allow your child’s body to grow into a woman’s figure You stop yourself launching yourself into the deep end of  … Continue reading

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There is only now

I am constantly in waiting – waiting for some change to occur so my life becomes magically fancy, happy and glamorous. I am waiting for my excess weight to disappear; that I just suddenly stop judging other and myself; to … Continue reading

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My needs

As long as you are here You are taking up all the space There is not much left for me You are needy You can’t do it alone I can I find my answers And can ask my questions When … Continue reading

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Mirror

We are like two faces of the same mirror, reflecting back to each another what we are not willing to see.

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Halted

A bad halt again. I am stuck. Nothing seems to have happened still anger and frustration set in not allowing me to move on. I am being held captive in my own net of brain waves. Nothing I can do. … Continue reading

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The price

For holding onto the mask we created to present ourselves in the world; we pay a huge price – our authenticity and peace of mind. (IK)

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My personal wall

My personally built wall that I placed between you and me is made of anger and bitterness. I feel that you let me down at that very time I needed you the most. And now you ask me to trust … Continue reading

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Kabir

Oh mind you carry on your back Your actions like a heavy sack. No wonder that your shoulders ache Another strain’s enough to break Your neck So drop this stupid load. This is the last stop on the road where … Continue reading

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Come with me!

Tired of the load we carry. I worry too much. You try too hard. Lets ease up! Lets have fun! Lets forget about the pains of this world and move to greener pastures! Come with me, dear friend!

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Mirrors of chances

You wait for a chance of maturity. I wait for a moment of innocence. I see the offerings now. Your childlike enthusiasm drives me nuts. I don’t believe in fairy tales any more. Maybe, I never did. My childhood passed … Continue reading

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Ascension

My chains are pulling me down. I wish I could fly the great open skies, the vast planes, the Universe. But my wings are too weak to carry the magnet dish attached to the end of my metal chains. I … Continue reading

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Streched

Slowly, the pebbles of fear become a stone of neurosis. Like your image of Jesus; you are streched on the cross of sin and punishment until the final breath.

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You lied!

This reminds me so much of my past. Looking at her as she is reading her books, nodding over a page cross legged and hunched making notes. It reminds me of the people who once told me how to live … Continue reading

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The little girl in a big shoe

She is funny. She needs to do something she has no idea how to do, and so she remembers how the adults would do it and imitates them. But the shoe is still too big for her. It is truly … Continue reading

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I wish

I wish I could just stop judging, Thinking that I know better, That I am aware of something nobody else is That the way I see Life is the only way to see it I wish I could stop wishing … Continue reading

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Loss and gain (two film reviews)

And so she is pregnant. It happened at the most unpropitious time of her life. She has just about decided (finally)to live his disillusioned and abusive husband – now that she has managed to hide enough money away from him … Continue reading

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Smudging your mirror dirty

It must remind you the day he waltzed into your lives. He entered without knocking or asking if it was all right to stay the night. At first you must have been delighted to welcome the newcomer and thought he … Continue reading

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I can’t live imprisoned in somebody else’s world

I don’t do the things you do. You like perfection and surround yourself with clarity and vision. I am massy and immaculate. I like the deep and the wild. Me, I am full of wounds like stamps of my adventurous … Continue reading

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Easy

It was just so easy. I can still hardly believe it! I just made the call. Note: it took me two days to get there. I spent two days in doom and gloom, not having faith at all that it … Continue reading

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Doom and glory

Is it really necessary to be so conscious about life? Where does wonder set in if I am constantly thinking about what is happening in my life and considering what the meaning of that is happening while hoping to take … Continue reading

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no more letting go

Please, don’t ask for more to let go of I don’t have anything else to give and whatever I still ’own’ please let me have them just a little longer You can take all my burdens You can take all … Continue reading

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The taxi man

He arrived, opened the boot of the car. I asked if he was the taxi-man. He did not get it. Then I said it – You are the taxi driver, aren’t you?. He said yes and approached me for my … Continue reading

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Hu-Man

There are the moments when I realize that I am a Hu-Man being and that God is ever present in my life, somewhere in there, wrapped up in the most unexpected ‘places’ waiting to be experienced.

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Saved

I am having EXPERIENCES again! Overweight charges on top of the luggage price. It is just sooooo UNFAIR! And hey, the sweetest thing about the whole nightmare experience of a ruthless official was my encounter with another official, a security … Continue reading

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My many different faces

Today I am a beautiful woman. I feel desired and the mirror likes me. When I am like this I know I can get what I want through being desirous. I tempt my pray into my huge spider web and … Continue reading

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En-lighten-ment

Enlightenment is being in light and being in the process of becoming ‘light’ (in all sense of the world) – ik

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Come on! Disobey me!

You drive me crazy with your obedience. Why don’t you say NO to me? At least once? Why don’t you disobey me? Tell me I am wrong; that you don’t agree; that I shouldn’t do it that way because it … Continue reading

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An ‘I know it all!’ morning

It is so silly! Why would want to do it that way? It makes no sense! Let me tell you how it is done properly. Oh dear, life is not meant to be lived that way. Let me explain you! … Continue reading

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Why?

Why do you hate the one that holds the light for you to see?

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Noise

When in silence one notices the constant chatter of the mind that is voiced during chatter – aimless and meaningless stream of words trying to appear in a context. (ik)

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Appearances

The couple arrived. Young and quirky. Self-confident and successful. They know what they want. They can relate to the world and fit in. They are everything I am not – of this world: sorted, jobs, life, car, the house, the … Continue reading

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