I have realized that in some way I am at fault. I am creating this mess around me. Not sure how though.
I keep on trying to create a so-called inter-supportive relationships where both our strength are maximized by combined efforts. However, it seems that my efforts seems like bugging the other person. Then, I also realize that the other person also bothers me because our relationship is not balanced. Eventually, instead of supporting and inter-caring for each other, we drive each other crazy. I somehow fantasize about some kind of maximized efforts that would eventually lead to success but I constantly find myself surrounded with people who cannot really support me because they can hardly support themselves.
At the moment I am living with two guys. One is a right wing racist and a woman-hater, the other is a young, self-centered stud who has never had to take responsibility for anything.
I am realizing, once again, what a horrible person I must be, just like my family suggests, a person who is incapable and unwilling to compromise and put up with others’ flaws and someone who’s uprightness, inflexibility and constant criticism drives others away.