Crucifixion and resurrection

Well, it has been ‘hell of a Lenten Season’. I have been fighting my way through it.

Yesterday afternoon, however, the fog lifted and I started to hear the voice within again.

For how much longer are you planning to put blockages between us? – asked the voice.
What blockages? – I asked in sock.
Well, your grievances! – came the immediate response.
I did not know what to say for a while then I remembered the scam incident.
But the scam! I was robbed, and you weren’t there. – I argued.
It is just energy, energy that you can regenerate. – said It gently – No harm was done.
My tears started to run.

Today, I had a conversation with a friend about God and what we make of our ‘challenging’ experiences. As we were discussing how we observe our difficulties, I heard myself say that God offers experiences that allow us to get closer to Him. What we make of these experiences are based on our attitude and we are free to choose any attitude we like. We can put all our grievances down in front of us and use it as blocks and little crucifixions. Or we can take the higher ground, adopt an overall view, take the learning and move on. We can suddenly see that what seems like a loss it is also a blessing. We live in a world of duality were no perfect good or bad exist, rather neither. We choose what to make of our experiences.

Yes, honestly, I could do without some of the experiences I have had. They were not nice at all. At the same time ‘no harm was done’. I may have suffered some loss but most of it is I suffered on an energy level rather than in the physical. What I mean is that my losses were mostly ‘emotional’ and though I had to grieve these losses profoundly sometimes, I was not harmed and I was safe all the way through them.

Easter is about being ‘reborn’ in Spirit. I noticed that most people believe that it is a mystical occurrence. I think it is rather practical. We are our own saviours. Resurrection is choosing, daily, to release my grievances, my dislikes, my upset and recentre myself in the knowing. All is well.

I know that my life is about waking back to the arms of the only true love there is, that of God’s. It is an arduous journey with many pitfalls. I also know that the key to this journey is ‘focus’. I can choose to focus on ‘loss’, all that I had to let go of while walking this path of enlightenment. Or I can focus on the message each experience carries.

It is simple but not easy. It is a chose I make daily and sometimes I don’t. Those are the days when I crucify myself on the altar of my ego’s needs. But there are some nice sunny days when I am willing. These days are the good days. I am focused on my way towards God rather than the hindrances.

I am grateful for each day. They teach me about who I am and who I am not. I always have a choice.


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