My Easter Resurrection

Over the past few days, I have been wondering what to do to ‘overcome death’. Christians believe that “the meaning of Easter is Jesus Christ’s victory over death. His resurrection symbolizes the eternal life that is granted to all who believe in Him. The meaning of Easter also symbolizes the complete verification of all that Jesus preached and taught during His three-year ministry. … His resurrection … gave final and irrefutable proof that He was really the Son of God and that He had conquered death once and for all. … the meaning of Easter, for millions of Christians, is that of honouring and recognizing Jesus Christ’s resurrection from the dead, and His glorious promises of eternal life for all who believe in Him. ” Source

In a broader sense, overcoming death means letting go of the world in order to reunite with God once and for all. In my understanding, Jesus’ life and teaching is rather a source of guidance than a solution. I cannot consider Jesus’ sacrifice as an act of good deed for humanity, so we would not need to do anything but believe in Him for our own resurrection. I strongly believe that Jesus came to show us an example ‘how to do it’, he did not simply sacrificed himself on the cross so we would not be required to do a thing, ever.

For me, Faith is active, a constant movement both within and out in the world, too. Exactly, like Jesus showed us, He preached and lived the teaching.

Easter is also a time for rebirthing. One can only revive, however, by releasing something that has been keeping him/her locked in a pattern that keeps him/her from embracing God more fully.

I have spent the Season of Lent meditating on what keeps me from getting closer to God, embracing myself completely in God and what to release. I found that I need to let go of my feeling of frustration and anger. It is, however, not as easy as it sounds. My frustration and anger usually stem from my need for change. I am a fixer. I constantly come up with ideas, just like Tinker Bell, how to enhance matters of life or offer guidance in change.

Then, I wondered if my anger came from the fact that most of the time my fantastic ideas are ignored or simply rejected. The answer was partially. I realized that my frustration also comes from the fact that I cannot find the appropriate surface for sharing my enthusiasm for change, evolution, enhancing and fixing. It feels as if I was a madman going around offering my colours to blind people.

Then, I considered another aspect of my frustration: fear. As we all very well know, our biggest block to embracing God is our fear of the unknown. I am good at knowing, it is my specialty, and actually, I find it easy to be aware, to see elements of life that is hidden to most. That is where my creativity stems from, my ability to see the structure and see where it can be mended. I am also good at coming up with solutions. So, the two together could be a winning-combo. But it isn’t. I am perceived as a nuisance most of the time. And this is why I am frustrated and angry. I come across as controlling, critical and know-it-all, instead of a visionary. And the reason for that is my fear.

As a result of some painful childhood experiences, I drew some conclusions. I believe that my ideas can only be badly received, rejected or ignored. In fear of punishment and rejection, I do not offer my ideas in good faith any more. I either push them through without much consent of the other parties involved or simply try and force them onto my environment. As a result, I became revengeful, resentful, and spiteful. I detest the world for not appreciating my creativity.

So, this Easter season, I surrender my revengeful and angry attitude as well as my fearful disposition on the altar of rebirth.

My plea to God is that I find the appropriate surface where my creativity is well received, and that the gifts He gave me in His kindness are well utilized. I ask for His Wisdom and support in my embracing all of me with tenderness. I ask to have faith in myself knowing that who I am – my essence – is His Gift to me and to the world, too.

And so it is. Amen.

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