There is only now

I am constantly in waiting – waiting for some change to occur so my life becomes magically fancy, happy and glamorous.

I am waiting for my excess weight to disappear; that I just suddenly stop judging other and myself; to be happier and more contented – whatever that makes life more meaningful.

Suddenly it downed on me – that’s what’s all there is; there is nothing and nobody else to wait for.

This is MY LIFE, just as it is – with all the extra weight screaming back at me in the mirror; with the people who fill my life with content; the feelings of homelessness and meaninglessness; the family where I don’t belong and that I still carry like a torch; the heat, the cold and the rest in between … all of it is just is.

There is nothing before or after what is here now.

This is what I got in this lifetime, in this moment – I’d better learn to live with them.

The sooner, the better – because they ain’t gonna go away any time soon.

Yes, you can ‘not like it’, still you’d better get used to the idea that there is no man who should be here, who isn’t here now; that there is no weight loss that is not apparent right now; there is no job, money, career, enlightenment or whatever you dream of and miss now that you need to wait for – if it is not in the now.

There is only now.

You’d better catch up because life speeds by while you’re crying about your unmet needs in your sleeps.

Wake up! Wake up!

The present is knocking on your door.

This is nothing but a chance – to be present,

There is nothing to wait for,

But to embrace it all,

Just as it is – there is nothing else,

There is only now.

 

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