I heard once that the pain comes from resisting life, resisting living life for what it is. The pain is the price that we pay for wanting something else, complaining for not having what we think we should have while not realizing what we actually have.
Well, I have a bit of an issue with the above.
It is very hard to accept not having 90% of the things/feelings that you wish you had. There is a lot of pain comes with the not having and it does not mean that I don’t notice what I actually have in my life. I am simply aware that the things that usually bring me pleasure and happiness are just not there. I am also aware that there are little things that bring me joy and have entertainment value for me. Simply in comparison those that miss are way bigger than the ones that are there.
Yes, it is all a matter of how you look at it, half empty or half full. Surely, it is all measured by my limited view on Life but I am not a monk or an enlightened master to judge otherwise. This is my reality and that is just it.
On the other hand I am also clear that I have stopped resisting Life. However, I notice that Life does not tend to like the same things I do. So, I am sad most of the time for not being provided with the nice things in life but rather with the crappy ones that we call educational.
So, I am either angry or sad most of the time and at the end of the day, there is nobody to turn to for consolation. There is nothing else to do but to accept the reality I created for myself by looking at a half empty glass most of my life. And it may just be an act of resisting Life …