I am the designated scapegoat.
As soon as the discomfort surfaces and it starts feeling uncontainable, the need for release is inevitable. I am often a good source for such a surface. It is rather easy to get cross with me. One of the reasons is that I carry this energy of ‘it can be done differently’ inside of me.
When you meet this energy, your inner ‘judge’ gets activated and you immediately start defending yourself the way you learnt it as a child. When I meet people with similar energies I do exactly the same.
I, however, stay with my inner judgment and do not pour the debris over the other person. I know that the feeling is mine and so I own it. It is only me judging me.
I also carry the energy of constant change. Honestly, it is rather tiresome for me to be like this but I do not have much control over this disposition in me. For some people, it is very challenging to be around someone like me. They experience me unreliable and untrustworthy. Plus, they often become fearful of the anticipated consequences of my ‘changeable’ nature.
It is all understandable. Trust me, I also find myself exhausting and vexing so I deeply sympathise with everyone who feels the same about me. At the same time, however, whatever emotional or mental reaction my behaviour prompts in you, it has nothing to do with me. It is not me who generates those feelings inside of you. It is YOU who does that.
I have many flaws. I admit it. You have the right not to like me or agree with me.
However, you can also choose to look beyond the surface and observe what’s happening. You then can see what’s happening in you and you may get some insight into why I behave the way I do. It may help you to develop some compassion towards my flaws and yours.
Just a suggestion!