Advent W4

The fourth week of Advent: LOVE

When I wrote about the week of joy, I somehow secretly expected it to be fun. But the week, though it was easy going with some laughter it was not very enjoyable at all. I felt exhausted. Still, I kept on going, kept on smiling, kept on doing the work I had been assigned to. Then I snapped. I could no do it any longer. Like a stubborn horse, I budged, and I did not move. I said I was done and I was off. It did not go down very well but I was so firm in my decision that universe co-operated and I was released.

Last night, upon my arrival I had a huge glass of wine then I watched Heaven is for Real. I cried my eyes out. The equilibrium was restored. But joy still had not arrived. Then I set down to see if there was a movie I fancied on TV. I found a channel that ran a Jennifer Aniston marathon. I watched and laughed through two of her movies. I felt much lighter, I felt the healing effect of my light-heartedness, a sense of carelessness. I enjoyed that I was free to do as I pleased because the ‘house’ was mine fi\or the night. But my sense of Joy still had not come.

This morning, I looked out into the gloom of a mild winter and wondered about the film I saw last night: Heaven is for Real. It is a true and inspiring story of a pastor whose his son during an emergency operation visited Heaven and then shared his experiences with his family. The boy’s exceptional experiences troubled many of the congregation, the pastor himself included. Each of them felt disturbed but could not dismiss the boy’s extraordinary visions of a place of pure Love and Peace. A place were no soul was lost and where we are all loved in our purity of soul. As a result of the boy’s encounter of the Heavens, the troubled members of the congregation all were given an opportunity to forgive. Each one of them could let go a ‘loss’ that had been holding them back from receiving God’s everlasting Love for them. The pastor was asked to review his Faith in God’s Realm and to realize that It was a true reality not only a fantasy or a notion.

The film made me think. Joy eludes me because true Joy can only come when one is free or at least freer. A sense of freedom can only be achieved by releasing another chunk of ‘unlovedness’, a piece of the past that separates me from God that I am still holding onto. I am not sure what it is. One lady in the film was angry with God because her son died in a war and in her mind God took something from her that she loved. Her anger and upset with God separated her from receiving God’s healing Love. Another lady had a still-born child and she blamed herself for this death. In her self-attack she prevented herself from receiving God’s blessings. With the support of the little boy’s vision in Heaven, they could all forgive and release the pain of loss so they could finally accept the gifts of Joy and Love.

This Sunday, is a magical one. It is Christmas Eve and it is also the last Sunday of Advent. Additionally, we start the twelve days of Christmas tomorrow morning on the 25 December that last until the morning of the 6th of January, finishing it with the 12th Night on the 5th of January.

So, what do I need to forgive (let go of) during this festive season, so Love can return to my Heart  restoring my sense of Joy in life?

I am asking the Holy Spirit to guide me and all those who is journeying with me on the road of rediscovering God’s Grace and Love this festive season.


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