Being heard and needs met

I am shaking with fear, frustration, anger and a sense of helplessness. How loud will I need to be this time so to be heard? As if I was an invisible water bubble hanging from the ceiling, nobody notices my existence. Nobody cares.

Trouble or inspiration?

I want no trouble. I just want to be heard. I want you to understand that what you are doing is freaking me out and I want you to stop doing it. It is not that I want you to feel reprimanded but I want you to have compassion for me. Please care about me, too!

But you can’t do that, can you?

You have no compassion for yourself. You have never looked at yourself as a human being either, how could you look at me and see me in my bare humanity.

I scream with terror. You are upset in your desperation. You never ask for but take what you need; and I try to stop you when you are ripping me off of my basics. You believe you have the right to steal because you have been robbed, you are only taking revenge. But you are mistaken. You have only yourself to cheat.

In the meantime, I remember a childhood that left me with scars of distrust and a strong sense of conviction that “nobody cares, so I’d better care for myself”. I put on my boxing gloves and start fighting my shadows.

She is only trouble. She fights all the time!

The inspiration that could grow out of the broken roots requires much more light to heal and develop.

I am still a troubled anger-ball hiding in my cocoon and waiting for my metamorphosis to start.