Contemplation Day12

40 Days of Letting Go, Letting God

From Release to Embrace

Rule 12

There are more fake gurus and false teachers in this world than the number of stars in the visible universe. Don’t confuse power-driven, self-centered people with true mentors. A genuine spiritual master will not direct your attention to himself or herself and will not expect absolute obedience or utter admiration from you, but instead will help you to appreciate and admire your inner self. True mentors are as transparent as glass. They let the light of God pass through them.“*


Today’s affirmation: I embrace myself and I approve of myself just as I am.

As I was contemplating on Rule No12 and today’s Lent message, I realized that …

I never thought of myself as a people pleaser. I never felt that I was looking for others’ approval. And still, I find myself struggling with being authentic and sincere.

I find myself being afraid of doing things the way I prefer them, or simply showing who I am. When I was a child I was always in trouble. I was often scolded for being too loud, too funny, too capable, and too strong; I was called overwhelming, stubborn or difficult, and not submissive enough.  Looking back now, it was because we lived in a world of ‘thick grey’ where we were to melt into the great ‘mess of equality’. In that, standing out in any way often meant punishment, victimization and discrimination.  So, I learnt to be scared of who I was and tried to suppress elements of my personality that was considered ‘not ok’. With that, I ended up being a neurotic chameleon.

I still notice that, when I am in a new situation, I feel the pressure to conform. I quickly assess the situation and hide those parts of myself that would probably raise eyebrows. Because I have been working on healing myself from past wounds, I am now aware when the process starts. I can now stop it by embracing myself and loving those parts of  me that was shunned when I was young. I have done healing work by doing forgiveness towards myself and those who suggested I wasn’t good the way I was.

Why is this so particularly important to me?

It is because “True mentors are as transparent as glass. They let the light of God pass through them” the Rule reminds me today. I will not be able to pastor anyone – including myself – until I can stand in my Truth authentically, giving myself fully and as a result letting ‘God’s light pass through me’; without which there is no pastoring at all. I am no Guru. I hope to become a person who is ‘pure enough’ that God can use me to serve others. 

What did you discover by contemplation on this rule and Lent reading?

in Loving and with many Blessings,
Rev Kudlik

Please note that though I may use ‘him’ or ‘his’ pronouns to talk about God/the Divine, it is only because the English language does not have a gender neutral pronoun. ‘They’ sounds odd to me to use and ‘it’ sounds lifeless. 

Source of heart picture, click