I have written about this topic many times because it seems to me that our human existence revolves around this concept.
We all have and experience fear regularly, though we are rarely aware of it. We are raised by people who pass their fears onto us and we acquire our own fears depending on many factors.
As a result of our unconscious fears and dreads, we attempt to control those situations and people who we assume that they threaten us. The way we control these depends on our circumstances and personality.
Most people try to control their environment by posing their opinion on others expecting them to change accordingly. At the same time, we do not notice that our opinions are ‘ours only’, it is not the truth. Whatever we experience or conclusions we draw, they are ours, and others may draw different conclusions. We must accept that.
And this is the key. We are not ‘right’. Neither it is our job to put the world right. Our job is to heal and deal with the underlying fear that drive us to attempt to control the world so we can feel more secure.
I am a recovering ‘fear-monger’. I grew up with an enormous amount of insecurity during the insane times of a socialistic regime. I understand that depth and highs of dread and I spent a considerable amount of time investigating my own fears and others.
Unfortunately, it is impossible to ‘treat’ the results of ‘fear’ until one is willing to look in the eye of the ‘devil’ and start confronting it.
It is one of my daily practices. It is impossible to explain the devastation our untreated fear-monger creates especially in the area of our mental health and in our relationships.
Many people, unknowingly, believe that control is the way forward. Just have a look at present so called ‘geopolitics’. It is all about ‘national security’.
However, the truth is, that we project our inner fears and insecurities onto the world and expect others to ‘fix’ it for us which is impossible. The fear never dissipates, until we confront it within ourselves.
How to confront our fears?
That is the easy part. Willingness to face our fears is the journey. Gaining awareness where and what we try to control are the ‘hints’ where our greatest fears lie. As we become more aware of them, we are ready to look them in the eye and release them.
One crucial fact is that fear can only be released when we have something greater to ‘look and hold onto’, bigger than ourselves and our shared humanity. As long as you feel alone or you can only rely on another human for ‘security’, fear stays.
Only by building a relationship with something greater than ‘man’ can provide the feeling of safety and a release from the grasp of fear. We need to be able to look behind the fear. It does not matter how you call this ‘greater presence’, God, the Divine, Allah, Shiva, the Loving. What matters is the knowing that there is a source of ‘all good’ beyond our crazy world of insecurities.
