How is it gonna end?

Everything seems to be falling apart so much that it scares me.

I wonder whether my dream will end on a high note. Or was it just a dream and now I am waking into a world of shadows again, back to the grid as if nothing happened.

I am standing on the verge of two worlds and I don’t know how to stay in the one I am living in right now. The road looks like taking me back to the old continent, to the old life, to the old patterns, to the familiar.

And I am not fighting it. I am just very sad about it. I am sad that my dream lasted for only this short while. And I am grateful too, that it lasted all that long at all. Some probably don’t ever get the chance to dream that much.

My Wonderland will always be in my heart with Tweedledum, Tweedledee, the White Queen, the Red queen, the Rabbit and all the other magnificent figures who made this time so special for me. Thank you special ones; God Bless you all!

***

I suddenly woke in the middle of the night, covered in sweat. I clench my teeth. I get up and do what needs to be done. I take care, I make sure, I sort out. Nobody does it as well as I do. I change gear. I get into the mood. I move. But a part of me smiles because she is far, far away from here…