We meet regularly. She is like a huge veil of challenge. Each time I look into her eyes, my temperature rises, my blood boils, the eyes open – I scream.

Then suddenly I realize that it is all me. I play silly again. I expect light, connection, caring where is only darkness; stability in a world that exist on the foundation of confusion, chaos and separation.

Aren’t I silly, really? And well, yes, I deceive myself when I reach out for something that is not there, I am causing myself pain by making myself experience the lack of something though I know it is not there. A ridiculous trick of the mind: setting myself up for failure. What a pain!