Up until now I have not registered how lonely it can get. I am too used to the noise of the loved ones, the careless laughter and the sweet talks. I got spoiled by the sweet old beggar.
Now I am playing hide ans seek alone in a huge Victorian house.
I don’t feel at home here any more. I am not at home anywhere any more. Still until I am covered with dust, until my soul is trapped in the dirt, I’d better find some shelter in the wilderness.
The loneliness comes from disconnectedness. I am lost in the representations, I am not having the connection.
I am too tired to make an effort. I am too exhausted of the challenges that sometimes life throws at me to cope. I can only breath and hope that for the moment it is just enough.
Anyways, when the body and mind are driven to exhaustion, they start giving into a higher degree of guidance and a different quality of experience.
I am on the verge of two world balancing on the edge of the knife.