My day off

Today I am taking a day off. I am taking a day off from my miseries and fears. I walk away from my insecurities and panics. Only for one day I forget about my marriage vows of being a faithful servant to them. They will not leave me anyway. They need me to stay alive.

Yesterday I spent the whole day with them, cradling them, caring for them and feeding them with immense amount of chips and pasta. I did not go out just to be with them from dusk till dawn. I spent hours condemning the world that does not understand their needs. I consoled them with pity. I rocked them to sleep with tears in my eyes. Then I woke with a startle in the middle of the night feeling pain, the results of my indulgence of the previous day, all over my body.

This morning I know this relationship must end. We are not meant for one another. This marriage is over. It has been too demanding and hardly giving me anything at all if only reasons to complain.

It is the end of an era. Today, I walk.