Interestingly her issues after all reflect mine too. I don’t think I am so far off, but I do see myself reflected in her behaviour. I am reserved meaning I withhold myself from others in protection of my integrity and sense of self, trying to avoid constant humiliation and ridicule. At the same time I see what a lonely game it became by being reticent. I feel safer, only some but definitely much lonelier. I don’t know the answers; I am just reflecting on what I have figured.
I don’t think there is a way out of our games. By understanding the crap we swim in only makes the shit seem sophisticated but not more bearable. Grace is the only way out if you are lucky enough to notice when it is bestowed upon you …