I am happy. I experience joy, suddenly. I realize that I carry the energy of the court jester. Someone who can be laughed at and made fun of because nobody actually understands what she is saying. It is always, however, that the jester is witty and entertaining because he is intelligent and bright. I live in a world of magnificence. I see colours, shapes and forms experience depth that is not available to many. My mind is wired in a way that allows me to see the vastness of our human existence. I can actually experience and grasp the layers of my hu-manity; my God-Essence in a human form.
Sadly, I denied who I am in God for many, many years because I was told that I was wrong.
Since early childhood, I allowed little minded people to tell me what an idiot I was. Even though, I knew that I was not a moron, I could not prove it. No matter how hard I tried to show my brilliance and capabilities, the ignorant crowed could not appreciate it. I failed each time I tired. Majority rules.
Eventually, I admitted defeat and accepted that I was probably a nitwit. As a result, I became a very, very angry person. In my anger and pain of being denied of living who I was, I lashed out. I became the nuisance, the arrogant and vexing child whose presence was not welcomed, who had no friends, who was ultimately rejected.
All this happened as a result of me allowing others to convince me about their view of me and to persuade me to budge.
Today, I am rejoicing in who I am without a hint of doubt. I am a gifted, accomplished, smart, inventive and highly creative human being weather anyone approves it or not. I am my own person. I am happy.
