The meaning of control

You let me down. Again and again. Fear set in. And so I thought , I must make sure you can’t let me down again. I took the sceptre and made myself king of the tribe. I raised my voice. I grew up quickly. I put on weight to adopt greatness and leadership. I had no idea what I was doing but at least I knew I won’t be let down again. I took all the burdens and responsiblity like good shepherd would do. I lost trust. I asked for no support. I became self-sufficient. I lost connection. I became tough, demanding, judging and loveless. Ease disappeared. I made sure life is run the way I think it should be.

I gained control.